Far Away
by Lady Valtaya
Summary: Updated and finished at last! Set after Advent Children, Cloud is still running from what he wants the most... This is the same story that I have posted on MediaMiner. LOL... sweet and tangy citrus... please review!


Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII or any of the characters that appear in it. Square Enix does. Here's a twenty one gun salute to them for a job beautifully done! If you haven't seen Final Fantasy VII Advent Children yet, get out there and buy it- RIGHT **_NOW_**!!!!!!!!!! By the by… I don't own the rights to Nickelback's incredible ballad- which is where this little story gets it's name… I also can't say I own Def Leppard's gorgeous little song called Have you Ever Needed Someone So Bad, either… More's the pity.

Author notes: Damn… What is it with me and writing song inspired lemons lately (seriously, since this is the _sixth_ one I've started this _week_)?? Anyway this is for anyone who, like me, thinks that Cloud **_really_** needs to get his cute butt in gear and get with that gorgeous babe Tifa before someone else does!! Not that I think Tifa would _ever_ give up on his stubborn hide, but come _on_ Cloud!!! Having also seen everything that happens on KH II after Sora defeats Sephiroth (twice), I'm now _especially_ sure that poor Tifa needs some very serious alone time with her man- which is why I'm writing this, because I just don't think the boys at Square will be giving us hentai's an… 'official' lemon with these two anytime soon.

The centered parts in italic script are of course, the song lyrics that the characters are _not _hearing. That is they are not to be confused with or mistaken for part of the song that Tifa will be listening to in a later part of my little story. LOL.

Far Away

Chapter 1

_This time, this place_

_Misused, mistakes_

_Too long too late_

_Who was I to make you wait?_

It was a remarkably pleasant night to be in a building that had very little of its roof left, but rain or even a thunderstorm would have been far better suited to his mood than the moonlit night in the cloudless, star filled sky… The stars and the moon touched everything in the abandoned church with rich velvet shadows and icy silver light, but even the eerily silent beauty of his home away from home wasn't enough to distract him from his thoughts tonight…

Cloud sat on the rough hewn wooden floor of the shattered church near the spring watching the shimmering water but not really seeing it. He was trying to tell himself that he just needed more time to sort things out, but since he had already felt this way for at least the last three years, that excuse was wearing dangerously thin... How much longer was he going to have to feel this way? Why couldn't he convince his heart that he didn't love her- that he didn't want to drag her through any more misadventures with him? He didn't deserve Tifa- he never had. He had never been able to convince himself that the two of them were like a brother and sister taking care of Denzel and watching out for Marlene while Barret was away for months at a time- part of him wanted to- it would have made things so much simpler. He wouldn't be having such a hard time leaving them if the feelings he had for her were that innocent- the last thing he wanted was to get her or the kids in any more danger.

Tifa had been his best friend when they were young- he had always suspected that the depth and intensity of their friendship itself was foreshadowing something more but he rarely had allowed himself to reflect on what that might be exactly… He didn't even like to think about it, not anymore- not after... No. Don't go there. Why should he set himself up for more pain?

He had always thought of her as a strong and gifted fighter so, it had stunned and scared him more than he liked to admit to have found her unconscious form lying among the beautiful flowers that had once dominated the back section of this church… There was never any doubt in his mind that she had been attacked by one of Kadaj's gang- even before they had been able to really talk about it. Tifa had been attacked because those creeps were like Cloud, they were connected to Sephiroth on some sort of subconscious level… his eternal rival had used the big dumb one to hurt her. It wasn't likely that Kadaj and company were ever aware that they had gravitated to certain people and places because of Sephiroth directing their actions, they'd believed to the bitter end that it had been Jenova- they were wrong. Their puppet master probably found it highly amusing that his pawns were so eager to do his bidding while believing that they were interacting with their progenitor directly. That whole situation had been a nightmare and to make matters worse, Cloud wasn't sure that it was over this time either…

So where did that leave him? He had already tried to disappear, to fade back into obscurity only to be found and forced to fight again as much by the bad guys as by his own heart.

It wasn't that he minded fighting; he was good at that. There was something to be said for the rush of pure adrenaline and of being free to use the powerful and deadly skills that he had learned. In battle there was usually a sort of calm awareness that took over when he fought. It was like turning on some kind of a switch in his mind that made him remember suddenly who and what he had been before he had learned the truth about himself… When he was fighting was also the only time that he didn't have to think about his life and the ever growing tide of darkness within him. Every action of his adversaries drew a reaction from him, each based on some sort of instinctive power and knowledge of fighting and the battle continued with very little conscious effort or even thought on his part until it was over. He liked the freedom it gave him from the darkness inside of him and the speed and the grace of each attack and repost…

What he didn't like about fighting was that even his toughest battles never lasted very long… or at least not long enough for him to ever feel certain that he was really still who he thought he had always been... and that nothing else mattered because the past was dead, they had won. He wanted to believe that it was over.

But Sephiroth's final words before he had given Kadaj back his dying body still made Cloud wonder how safe they really were... _"I will never be a memory."_

Cloud had spent months now telling himself that those words were just the twice broken pride of a once great warrior… But the darkness stirring in his heart made that thought seem desperately hollow. Would he be able to retain control this time if Sephiroth were ever to attack him from within again? In the aftermath of the adrenaline rush from a fight his doubts about himself and the warrior he had grown up to be always returned with discouraging speed and clarity. To go from such a high to that kind of low was always devastating on his psyche- but somehow it had seemed even worse since Kadaj had died…

He could have been the one that Sephiroth had chosen to act through this time too. He could have been the one that had endangered the world again and his friends would have been forced to fight him and that disturbed him because on some instinctive level Cloud was uncomfortably aware that he was stronger than all of them. To make matters worse, he knew each of their strengths and weaknesses in battle because of their time together and that knowledge in Sephiroth's hands would most certainly spell doom for all of them.

Cloud figured he was already cursed with a dark fate- that was fine as long as he didn't take anyone else down with him.

He had suspected it a number of times... Like when his mother had died it had seemed that he was cursed somehow and that people who were close to him were destined to die horribly just because he cared about them… This realization had also occurred to him when Aerith had died in his arms… he had stubbornly resisted it at the time but he had known that since the moment he had given the Black materia to Sephiroth that it must actually be true… So why keep fighting against it? What was the point of resisting fate when all it had given him was more time to hate what had become of him and his life…? What was the point of hanging on to hope when he felt like he must be the butt of some cosmic joke he was still waiting for the punch line of.

Exactly how many times did he have to loose everything he cared about before it started to sink in that he just wasn't meant to know happiness? Did it make him brave… or just stupid that he was still searching for a way out of the darkness before it consumed him completely? He didn't like the idea of going down without a fight, but he didn't like the constant nagging suspicion that he was already being manipulated somehow either.

He had been used in an illegal experiment by Hojo. The monster had been trying to turn him into a virtual copy of Sephiroth- the man who had almost killed him in the reactor the night Nibelheim was destroyed. Cloud and Zack were taken prisoner while they were almost dead, and for four years they had been subjected to absurd amounts of Mako and Jenova cells but in the end, both were written off as failures in Hojo's research... From what he knew now about the SOLDIER project and Mako poisoning, Cloud guessed that since Zack was already a first class SOLDIER he had been able to escape because his body was already accustomed to both Jenova's power and the presence of Mako- they must have been keeping him severely drugged to keep him under control and someone missed administering his shot that day.

Zack bolted immediately taking Cloud with him- even though he'd been completely useless. If he'd gone alone Zack Fair would still be alive. He was the one who should have lived. He'd been so brave and strong but no matter how bad things looked and even though the entire Shinra Company had been out to kill them, Zack refused to give up his freedom and he'd died protecting him. It still hurt- apparently it always would, but at least he knew now that Zack never blamed him…

For a while it had made him feel better when he had realized that his two lost friends really were still with him, but since his final glimpse of Zack and Aerith at the door of the church together, he hadn't seen or felt either of the two good spirits again. Part of his rational mind told him that they were still around, watching over him and the others, but he found their silence unsettling because of the increasing frequency and intensity with which he found himself sensing the presence of Jenova and Sephiroth inside of him lately.

Just as Aerith and Zack had lived on inside him in some unconscious level, apparently so did Sephiroth. But how was that possible?

Jenova, he didn't have to think about it- the response to the unspoken question was already there.

It still seemed odd to Cloud that he could sense the presence of Jenova cells within Vincent and Red too- and yet somehow her presence affected them differently than any of Hojo's other pawns. He and the others had been able to rescue Red before whatever Hojo was attempting to do to him could be completed. Cloud sensed that Vincent was meant to be a completely unique experiment though. His friend's transformations were possible because of the shape changing abilities all Jenova cells were capable of inducing in their host- but that made it seem odd that Jenova's power was dormant even while Vincent was in his alternate forms…

Anytime Cloud was forced to fight he could feel her stirring inside him. Her power was the source of his inhuman strength, endurance and agility- it was undeniable, he could feel it instinctively and yet he was still almost killed by the Geostigma plague that she and Sephiroth had created. What kind of monster had that kind of power and awareness over its former body thousands of years after its own death?

He was tired of thinking about this but he knew he had no choice- because he knew instinctively that while her consciousness and her cells were still around; her favorite son remained a constant danger to the fragile peace that they had fought so hard to attain. So he had chosen to withdraw himself- again. He knew that it hurt Tifa and the others that he still felt after everything they had been through that he had to keep his distance… Sure, he stayed closer to home these days and occasionally he even answered the phone when the mood struck him just right… But he hoped that they would someday understand he just wanted to protect them. It was hard to care about them so much because of their loyalty and bravery and trying to balance that with not wanting to draw the attention of his enemy to them.

Tifa was likely to be the only one that would understand- and only that because she had _always_ been able to read him- even at times when he wasn't sure what to do or even how to feel. She had always been able to talk sense into him- no matter how hard he tried to deny it at the time. Even though Tifa was still alive, he knew that she was inside of him too and the light that he felt inside of his heart when he thought of her was so bright that it scared him sometimes. If something ever happened to her, that light would die too and he didn't want to get used to having that light if he was only going to loose her next…

He wanted to see her, even though he didn't really want to go home. It wasn't just that she was exquisitely beautiful, though he could picture her in his mind as clearly as if she were standing in front of him. From her long dark hair to her warm brown eyes, her image haunted his every dream. She was strong and very tough- there were few men that could handle themselves with the intelligence and poise that Tifa radiated in battle, and she was also graceful and elegant. Every move she made was swift and smoothly confident a contrast to her softly expressive eyes and warm heart. It wasn't just as an ally in battle that he had been forced to accept that he still cared for her though…

"_Which is it?"_ She had asked him before he had gone to the Forgotten City to find the kids Kadaj and his group had taken away. _"A memory or us?"_

He had answered her with silence that night and he still regretted it… he was too stubborn to bring it up and she had never mentioned it again but he knew that he had cut her deeply. That had been about the hardest thing he had ever done, actually. The door had felt like it was a million miles away and, still he hadn't said a word or even glanced back at her. He had been a cold heartless bastard, pulling that on her and he knew it, but then he had never dared to hope that he deserved her anyway. It hurt him that she had even asked him such a question but he still felt like he owed it to her to have said _something_...

_Like what, Cloud- you're the black sheep of the 'family' from hell, remember? You're a science project gone astray, you shouldn't even exist- everyone would be safer if you _didn't_ exist, especially Tifa. _The sarcastic little voice in the back of his mind was always full of little barbs like that one- he was surprised it had remained quiet this long so he didn't bother telling himself to shut up.

It amazed him how easily his thoughts returned to Tifa. He was drawn to her by a force he was tired of fighting against. He admired her fierce determination and the deep intelligence that drove her to always fight for what she believed in. By contrast, he had lost the will to fight for a cause a long time ago and he didn't really want to regain it. It was easier and it made more sense to him to fight only to protect himself and the people he cared about. That was about the only thing about fighting that still made sense to him any more. He had lost his idealistic side too many years ago when he had seen the once great Sephiroth brutally attack Tifa and Zack and him at the reactor.

Heroes didn't exist. At least, not in the mythical sense- no one knew that better than Cloud did- after all for now everybody considered him a hero and yet he knew better than anyone else that he wasn't at all heroic. He may have stopped Sephiroth- twice now but he couldn't lie to himself, he had still done that for revenge and self defense more than to protect the planet. A hero should be strong and believe in their noble cause above all else. Mythical heroes were like Zack- selfless, brave and honorable- but those same traits had a habit of getting people killed... Sooner or later Cloud knew he knew he would fail to protect someone else he cared about and then he would be relieved of everyone's high expectations but for now it was beginning to look like he was again stuck with the role of benevolent protector.

_You- the benevolent protector…_ The little voice in the back of his mind laughed at him. _You're right, Cloud that really is funny! You ought to become a comedian._

"_Don't be so hard on yourself." _The soft, warm female voice that he heard in his mind took him by surprise even as it registered with unmistakable certainty that it belonged to Aerith. He was on his feet in an instant, spinning as he rose but he froze, helpless as he saw her standing at the edge of the mystical spring that she had used the lifestream to create while protecting him. Even ethereal and incorporeal she was still one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. She gave him the soft, gentle smile he remembered so clearly. _"You _are_ a hero, Cloud, and you're the only one that doesn't see it."_

He glared at her but she ignored it calmly still speaking directly into his thoughts._ "A hero is defined by his actions, not what other people see or think._ _Every one doubts themselves at times, why do you think Sephiroth snapped?"_

"And who says I haven't…" He regretted it even as those words left his lips, but he knew it was already too late to take them back. "I'm talking to a ghost… _again_- I've probably _already_ lost it."

"_I see. You don't understand why I haven't come to you lately…I'm sorry." _She sighed looking away._ "Do you at least know why I sent you back after you died?"_

He didn't know what to say so he looked away. She sighed again. _"I wanted you to see that it's ok to let go of the past. Zack and I love you, Cloud, so we'll always be with you in spirit. You don't have to forget us but you are still alive and you need to concentrate on that. If you were a heartless monster you wouldn't be putting yourself through this torture. You have everything to live for! The world owes its peace to you; you should be enjoying it more than anyone. I know that you are afraid of getting hurt again, I suppose I'm really the one to blame for that… but fear never stops you in battle, why are you letting it hold you back now?"_

He shrugged. "Everyone would be better off without me around."

"_How can you say that?" _Aerith gasped.

"I don't know _what_ I am anymore… Sephiroth's still inside of me- he never really left."

"_I know. I've felt him there too." _She said those words quietly, drawing his gaze back to her face- he would never have expected her to agree with him about that. _"He may have been evil, but he still had an unusually strong will…I shouldn't be telling you this… But with his intelligence and Jenova's power, there are ways that Sephiroth's spirit can try to act in your world again. I know it scares you, but you sense it when they use their powers, and that makes you the only one that can stop him. You are the strongest living piece of Jenova; you can't just give up on yourself, Cloud- not now. Everyone else believes in you, why can't you?"_

"I've let everyone that's important to me down too many times."

"_People aren't meant to live forever, Cloud, you can't blame yourself for not being able to stop the cycle of life and death. What matters is how you make use of the time you are given while you are alive. I came to you tonight because I can't bear to see you keep torturing yourself like this anymore. If you keep trying to stop yourself from living, you will eventually give Sephiroth exactly what he wants- you _will_ fade away, you will die and then there will be no one left that can stand in his way." _

"But how do I fight an enemy I can't see or even attack?"

"_By remembering all of the things that you have to live for, Cloud. You have some of the most wonderful friends that anyone could have, and a new family- one that you know loves you very much... I don't want to see you throw them away. Love is something that someone like Sephiroth could never understand. You _are_ different from him. You do know what love is and you can't tell me that I'm wrong because I'm in your heart; I know exactly what is in here with me. Yes, it makes me happy that I still mean something to you after all this time, but thanks to you and Tifa, I've been happy because I've been reunited with Zack. I just wanted you to know that you are free too. She loves you Cloud_, please _don't let that slip away from you this time, not because of me _or_ Sephiroth… I sent you back because you and Tifa deserve another chance, and more than anything, I want you to take it…"_

Cloud didn't get a chance to protest, for the image of Aerith was already gone and he was alone in the ruined church once more...

"Right… Like she'd be able to forgive me anyway." He growled.

Actually Tifa probably would, that was one of the many reasons he felt so drawn to her. She was a fighter but she was also an optimist- always hoping to see the best in others and unafraid to follow her heart... She was like a flickering candle, always giving off warm, welcoming light that drew him to her even when he was trying to deny the unspoken connection between them. To make matters worse, in spite of all the reasons he had for keeping his distance, he wanted to be close to her.

This meant Aerith was right, of course. He couldn't count how many times he had dreamed about Tifa in the last few years. These weren't innocent dreams either. He had held her and kissed her and made love to her at least a thousand times now- even though when he was around her while he was awake he was always careful not to even let himself stand too close to her. He wasn't an idiot, he knew that she was as attracted to him as he was to her, luckily there never seemed to be a right time to act on it. Her eyes always showed what she was feeling and the warmth and the love that he saw there warned him to keep his distance or something was going to happen that would change their life long friendship forever.

She had been on his mind almost constantly for years, but especially since he had been brought back to life… He knew he had fallen in love with her a long time ago and that he was just plain tired of trying to fight it. It wasn't fair to her that he had already kept her waiting to know where she stood with him for this long... He wanted to tell her that he was sorry. He wanted to, but he wasn't going to. There was still too much darkness for him to overcome; he didn't want her to get hurt…

_Cut the bullshit, Cloud. You're just hesitating because you don't want to see her with anyone else even though you know you don't deserve to be with her either. _The little voice in the back of his mind chirped happily. He didn't have time to answer though as the double doors at the far end of his silent sanctuary were thrown open, loudly crashing into the stonework that surrounded them as if it had been opened by the hands of an angry, long forgotten god.

Cloud was on his feet with his sword in hand even before his eyes adjusted to the shadows at the far end of the building. An old newspaper fluttered restlessly through the doors, but there was no one outside. The expansive ruins of old Midgar were as silent and motionless as they had been since he had arrived at dusk.

Cloud rolled his eyes; he figured it had been Aerith's spirit that had opened the door, trying to show him the way home- as if he didn't know where to find it on his own. As much as he wanted to Cloud didn't feel annoyed with her for interfering though, nor did he go back to his thoughts, he paused concentrating on a feeling that was suddenly tugging at the very edge of his consciousness.

He felt restless and even before he could dismiss it, he knew why. Instinct had always warned him when something was wrong, and the feeling that something wasn't right refused to let him go. The internal alarm that suddenly had him on edge was faint, clearly the danger wasn't his directly, or at least it wasn't immediate, but Cloud started to wonder again… How much longer would there be peace?

There was another stirring of the wind, making the newspaper continue its slow dance around the floor of the ruined church, twisting and cart wheeling toward him as it brushed lightly at the uneven floorboards and the scattered bricks... the edge of the parchment caught on one of the broken pews and flipped over revealing part of a headline... he recognized it immediately as ancient history yet something about it still caused a knot of pure dread to form in his stomach…

_**Sephiroth sighted again**…Unconfirmed reports continue to filter in about the supposed sightings of a mysterious man in black that carries a unique long sword and has long silver hair…Since the murder in his high rise office of the Shinra Electric Power Company's Former President, the police have been carefully investigating, but sources tell us that they have no real leads in the case and the public has heard only that the main suspect is a man officially believed to be dead- a man that has suddenly become even more famous since his disappearance years ago. In fact, reports have…_

Cloud stopped reading and crumbled the paper into a ball and threw it into a corner. He was surprised at himself that he had even bothered to pick it up, much less having started to read it. Angrily he told his heart that seeing Sephiroth's name in writing again was a pretty odd coincidence, but nothing more. How long had it been since he'd had thought of Rufus' father being murdered at his desk? It seemed like it had been another lifetime ago when they had stumbled upon the crime scene and seen Sephiroth's sword sticking out of his back with their own eyes… but in reality it had only been about three years. So much had happened since then that he found it hard to believe he still remembered it at all.

_There are still ways that Sephiroth can act in your world again…_Aerith's words echoed unbidden in his head and he shivered, unable to decide what to do. The feeling that something was wrong was gone almost as suddenly as it had overtaken him, but his restlessness remained and was growing unbearable…

_Just one chance_

_Just one breath_

_Just in case there's just one left_

_Cause you know, you know, you know_

Tifa swept the broom carefully against the last pile of shattered glass and sighed heavily as she brushed it into the dustpan held in her other hand. She carried the bits of broken glass and splintered wood to the trash can behind the bar and stretched her back, looking around 7th Heaven absently. Her temper had still been dangerously on edge even after she'd thrown out the unconscious bodies of twelve of their regulars along with the four strangers who'd started the fight and told everyone else to leave. She'd used that anger well to make short work of most of the mess... The tables and chairs that hadn't survived she's thrown out easily, tossing them around like they were toys. Sifting through the rest, the pictures and things from the walls, though had cooled her anger, replacing it with a sort of silent emptiness that seemed only too familiar these days...

It wasn't really the brawl itself that had erupted earlier tonight that had her so restless that she couldn't even think of sleeping though… It was the knowledge that the drunken bastards that had groped her and then unsuccessfully tried to kiss her were right- she _was_ still pathetically holding out hope that maybe, just maybe Cloud Strife did love her- and even more unlikely that someday he might actually do something about it… She also hadn't realized everyone in Edge seemed to know that she was in love with a man that didn't love her.

It had taken a mighty big can of whoop ass to restore order tonight. She would be replacing three tables, eight chairs, four lights and one pool table. It could have been worse, at least there were no holes in any of the walls and neither of the kids had awakened… And now that half of the bar's furniture was in a pile outside the front door she didn't have much choice but to give herself a much needed few days of vacation.

For most of the world, things had been peaceful since Kadaj and his gang had been defeated and the tide of the Geostigma infecting people had subsided, but the calm, pleasant days weren't fooling her heart. Tifa's life still wasn't what she wanted it to be… There could only be one reason for that and yet she had been trying not to let herself think about it… she didn't want to feel angry at him but she couldn't help wondering why he was still determined to keep his distance from her.

Sure, it was great that Cloud was home more but even when he was around there was clearly still something on his mind that weighed heavily on his heart. The kids certainly loved him, having him around- though mostly they seemed to hold him in a sort of quiet awe. Hell everyone really liked Cloud; there was just something special about him that drew people to him no matter how hard he tried to push them away.

He was a slowly boiling cauldron of difficult emotions- guilt, anger, loneliness and sometimes even despair radiated from him like a heavy cloak of darkness, one that she felt like she could actually reach out and touch. Still, she didn't believe that he was beyond all hope. When she looked into his crystal blue eyes she knew that he was still strong enough to overcome any obstacle or any adversary that got in his way. For him to eventually find peace though, Tifa was keenly aware that for Cloud the toughest battle that he would ever face was the one to defeat the demons of the past. Cloud had been fighting parts of that private war for years already and what few insights he had ever given her warned that he didn't believe that he was winning...

Until he reached some sort of an end in this fight Cloud knew he was vulnerable- just as he had been while he was agonizing over what had happened with Aerith. He didn't want to know that anyone might be depending on him when he wasn't sure that he could depend on himself. It broke her heart to watch him struggle so hard with his guilt over things that no one else had ever blamed him for... At least Aerith's brutal murder no longer weighed quite so heavily on his heart, but Tifa sensed that Cloud still had a long way to go before he would be able to accept the rest of what had happened to them…

Part of her wanted to think that she had been patient with him long enough. That man was a thousand times more stubborn than a meadow full of wild chocobos, but then she knew that was part of her attraction to him. She didn't want a guy that would find her strength or her fighting skill intimidating and she didn't want some dumb blockhead that was a pushover for a pair of nice breasts either. Cloud was the only man she wanted. She loved the vulnerability that he tried so hard to hide and the fact that he wasn't stuck on himself because of his good looks or obsessed with a concept as abstract as honor.

He was tough to get close to though and to make matters worse he usually used his bull headed stubbornness to avoid confronting things he knew were wrong until it was damn near too late. She knew that his faith in himself had been shattered when he had learned the hard way that because of Jenova, Sephiroth had been able to manipulate him- repeatedly even almost causing Cloud to attack Aerith as she prayed at the Forgotten City.

Cloud still didn't believe he knew who he was anymore. It was as simple as that. Though after what had happened in Mideel, he had kept fighting, and trying to make amends for giving the Black materia to Sephiroth, Tifa knew that to Cloud it wasn't as simple as just stopping the bad guy anymore. In a manner of speaking he _was_ the enemy- or at least Cloud was still afraid that he was. Sephiroth was a terrible evil and he had already used Cloud a few times before, so Tifa supposed that maybe it made some sense that he just wasn't sure what was inside of him anymore.

She had known him longer than anyone else, because they had grown up in the same town. She knew that their past connection was why he let her get closer to his heart than anyone else ever would. She knew that he trusted her, and valued her advice- even when she gave it to him without being asked to contribute it. He still seemed so lost sometimes that it made her heart ache, because she and the others all knew that he wasn't a bad guy- why didn't Cloud know it? Tifa knew that deep down; Cloud felt just as much for her as she still did for him, there were even times where she knew as she looked into his eyes that there was something he _wanted _to tell her. Unfortunately, he was so determined to hold something of himself back that it was really starting to look like he would never admit it. She knew he was still too afraid of getting hurt again- or of hurting someone else...

Her feelings for him had never changed- unless one counted that she had even fallen more in love with him... as if that should have been possible. The more time that she spent with him, the more certain she'd become that she loved him. She hated to admit it but the thought of loosing him in another terrible fight sometime down the road scared her a little too- what if Aerith hadn't used her connection to the lifestream to send him back to life after he'd been killed by Kadaj's two henchmen?

Tifa knew that she and the others had been too far away to save him- even if there hadn't been such a terrible explosion… She knew it was always possible, that there was another enemy waiting out there either desperate enough to shoot him in the back again or- gods forbid, strong enough to kill him outright… no one was invincible- not even Cloud.

Kadaj and his two flunkies had come at them so quickly, it was as if they had literally emerged out of no where and they really had no way of telling if there would be more people like them lurking somewhere in the shadows of the world's dark and mysterious corners or if the nightmares were finally over this time. They had never talked about it as a group, but she figured Cloud knew they were all with him in spirit that day, but she still wished that she could have been at his side literally instead.

They had already been though a lot together and it had been about five months and Tifa had not felt Aerith's kind and gentle spirit watching over them again, but Tifa doubted that she had left them for good this time either. Tifa sighed, thinking of the green eyed girl that had been such an endearing friend to all of them- even beyond death itself… the last ancient. She shivered in spite of the warmth of the room.

The relationship she'd had with Aerith had always been a rather complicated one… On the one hand Aerith had been charming, softhearted, friendly, and compassionate but she had also irreparably confused things between Cloud and Tifa. In spite of the fact that she and Aerith had both been interested in Cloud, he had never liked all the attention and had done about everything he could think of to discourage them both. They had both seen right through him, which of course made them like him even more… In the end, the two girls had found that their rivalry was such a friendly one that they had always cared genuinely about each other and had found plenty of time to engage in girl talk on their journey together too. Tifa had confided in her about growing up with Cloud and even the promise he had made and kept…

And in turn, Aerith had told her about Zack, the first boy she had ever had a crush on late one night when it was just the two of them. Something about the way that the other girl had talked about Zack told Tifa that she was still in love with him. It was sad that Aerith and Zack were both dead now, but she wanted to think that the two spirits were together again.

Zack had also been Cloud's friend and Tifa supposed that the other girl was probably drawn to Cloud partly because of that. Tifa grinned a little- not that she had ever blamed Aerith, Cloud wasn't exactly hard on the eyes… it was hard to notice much else when he walked into a room.

She didn't really know when her childhood friend had become _her_ first crush; the transition had been blurred by time and painful memories that she had done her best to forget long before the two of them had been reunited by Avalanche… No matter what else he was, there was no denying that Tifa still found him attractive, she always had… Cloud was impossibly good looking even with his wildly spiked blonde hair; he had a gorgeous body, a handsome face and eyes that could stop traffic. His eyes were sharp and expressive, in a shade of Cobalt blue so clear and intense that she always got lost in them. Cloud was serious to a fault but he was also honest, brave and loyal- once he finally decided that he had to fight, there was literally no stopping him.

It scared her a little bit that she was going to try and get him to open up to her the next time she saw him because she didn't want him resist it. He had fought her in this too long already. He seemed to find it remarkably easy to react by just pushing her farther away rather than letting her corner him into a relationship he didn't feel ready for but the thought of never taking a chance on loving him frightened her more than anything else. She didn't want to tame him or control him; she just wanted to be close to him the way he was. She wanted to hold him at night and wake up beside him in the morning…

She felt so torn sometimes that she hadn't really said much about her true feelings for him either, it usually seemed easier to live with the silence than risk rejection again when she loved him so much. There were always things to do in the bar or he was away on a delivery or there were children under foot… two very intelligent children that were both suddenly keenly interested in seeing the two of them happily settled down together…

Physically and emotionally she was exhausted. She could be in her own bed asleep right now and leave the rest of the clean up for in the morning. Unfortunately she had spent too many nights alone in her bed upstairs already; she didn't really want to start another one any earlier than she really had to…

She ran a busy bar mostly by herself, fights happened there sometimes and she was the bouncer, usually she enjoyed it, both the mundane work of tending to the customers and the practice kicking ass. Drinking and a lot of free time were a volatile combination with some people; she had known it since she was a kid... Even the cut above her left eye from a shattered bottle wasn't really bothering her. She was used to fighting her own battles… but it was getting tougher all the time to keep fighting the only battle that really mattered to her heart right now when apparently she was the only one who thought that she and Cloud had something that was worth fighting for in the first place.

She wasn't paying attention to the exact button she hit the button to start the bar's sound system, but when there was music on the bar didn't seem so empty. She poured herself a glass of spiced rum and climbed up on one of the stools but she didn't drink any, absently playing with it instead. The richly scented liquid swirled around the bottom of the glass in a spectacular display of warm color. The beveled edges of the glass and the ice combined to turn the rum to a molten amber gold, reminding her of the ocean at sunset...

If there was really nothing left here for her anymore, maybe she and Denzel could go somewhere else and start over, somewhere overlooking the ocean. Costa Del Sol had been nice… Marlene could come too, while Barrett was busy of course... There were dozens of scattered towns and villages that could always use another bar… She dismissed the idea wearily before it could take hold of her. She had never been the type to run from fate- and she already knew that her destiny was intertwined with Cloud's- he had to get tired of fighting it eventually- didn't he?

The first notes of a song that had always been close to her heart came pouring out of the speakers like a phantom wind carrying with it all the pain and loneliness she was feeling, her drink was forgotten. She slid off of her stool and she started to dance, moving her body slowly and sensually to the music like she had on so many other lonely nights like this as she sang along with the words.

"_Why save your kisses for a rainy day? Baby let the moment take your heart away…Have you ever needed someone so bad?"_ Tifa stayed with the rhythm, completely surrendering her heart and her body to the seductive power of the music- but wishing it was Cloud instead…

As the last notes faded, Tifa picked up her glass again, but instead of drinking from it, she threw it into a corner and tried to tell herself she wasn't going to cry- no; not this time…

"Looks like your night's been worse than mine."

Tifa jumped at the sound of his voice, and spun around… When she saw the object of her every fantasy standing there, leaning coolly against the door she felt even more tears welling up in her eyes, but she stubbornly bit them back too.

Cloud actually seemed vaguely amused, when he looked up for there was a rare hint of mischief in his impossibly bright blue eyes when he finally looked up at her. Like everything else though, his playful side seemed utterly absent since Aerith had died though so Tifa could only wonder in silence what had brought that little spark back at a time like this- unless of course he had been in here long enough to have seen her little dance...

Well she had taken years of dancing and music lessons as a child in addition to developing grace and balance through the martial arts. She was confident that he must have enjoyed watching her since he hadn't thought to interrupt. Knowing she was graceful enough to be a professional dancer took some of the sting away from having been caught at such an intimate moment- besides it wasn't as if she'd actually taken anything off...

They looked at each other intently, neither of them moved again and the only sound in the bar was the gentle whirling of the ceiling fans.

"What are you doing here?" Tifa asked finally when another song started to play through the speakers.

"You're bleeding…" He said, his eyes narrowed and it took her a moment before she realized he was looking at the cut above her eye. Before she could protest, he'd put her back on her seat and dabbed gently at her cut with peroxide on a cotton ball.

She felt a little annoyed for a moment, and considered reminding him that she had dressed wounds a lot worse on her own, but she quickly decided that she liked having him standing so close to her. She could smell his clean, masculine scent and even feel the warmth of his body through his clothes. He was silent as he worked, completely focused on what he was doing, but she didn't care. She didn't even feel the sting of the ointment being dabbed onto the cut; she was so focused on _him_.

He also gently slipped his fingers through her hair, looking to see if the cut extended through her silky tresses. It didn't but it made her ridiculously happy that he cared enough to check…

She almost sighed out loud with pleasure as he continued to play with her hair for a moment before he turned to take an adhesive bandage out of the first aid kit next to her. There wasn't any place she would rather be than where she was right now; yet there was a dreamlike quality to the scene that made her wonder for a moment if he was really there at all. Her mind had a nasty habit of playing little tricks like this on her all the time- like while she was in bed alone, asleep for example...

"What are you still doing down here? The place looks pretty good considering that half the furniture is outside." He looked a little worried, in spite of the matter of fact ness in his tone. "Tifa? Are you alright?"

Tifa felt like an idiot. She could tell she was blushing like a schoolgirl who had been caught staring at him- the cutest boy in school all over again when she finally realized he had spoken to her.

She looked away; only half wanting to take a chance on confessing how much she loved him and how much she hated it that the two of them never talked about how they felt…

"I was just… thinking." She said stiffly. That was true… even though what she added wasn't. "That you are a big jerk!"

He snorted; but it sounded more amused than indignant. "Yeah. Well, it's about time you said it."

Her eyes snapped up to glare at him, but he looked deadly serious, his blue eyes were clear and unflinching- he really believed it.

"I… didn't mean that." Tifa said slowly, staring at her hands in her lap. "I'm…"

"No, don't apologize." He said quietly. "It's true. I know it is… and so do you. I'll never be the kind of man that you deserve."

"What is that supposed to mean?" She snapped. "You are the only man I've ever wanted but when we are alone like this I feel like you and I are strangers. We never talk about how we feel; we don't share our dreams… I know what you've been through, damn it! You don't have to hide it- not from me; you don't have to _tell me_ anything because I was _there_, remember? I lived through it, too. You aren't the only one who thought it was cruel and unfair that she died the way she did, but Aerith was about life... she loved life so much that she sent you back to us because she wanted you to go on living. She wanted you to be happy and I still don't believe that you are happy- not when you still go to such extremes to stay so alone."

Her words mirrored Aerith's so well that he could only stare at her for a moment… but he didn't have time to answer her, even if he could have found something to say for her lecture wasn't quite over yet. "People aren't meant to be as alone as you keep yourself, Cloud. It's ok with me that you probably won't ever feel like you can say everything you are thinking and feeling even when we're alone like this. I don't really care about that; I just don't want you to forget that you don't have to be alone- not all the time. You still have friends among the living that won't ever give up on you. And, I shouldn't even have to tell you this, but… you'll always have me too."

When she fell silent, he looked away. "Tifa, I…"

"Why can't you trust that I know what I'm getting into with you? I know that your stubborn lone wolf facade just covers up how you really feel, I can live with that. I just can't understand why you won't even try to take the second chance you were given at finding happiness. What are you so afraid of?"

"I… I still feel _him_ inside of me sometimes- I always hoped that it would go away. Instead his presence is getting stronger and darker and I don't want you to get in his way again."

For a moment, Tifa stood very still- almost afraid to breathe as she considered his words. _Him…_ the inflection placed upon that one small word could only mean one person… and yet that was _impossible_- Sephiroth was _dead_…

"He's here." Cloud held one hand over his heart and he sounded so completely resigned to his fate, that it made her heart break more than she would have ever believed was possible. "I can still feel his darkness inside of me. If the people we care about stay with us after they die, so can the people we called our enemies. He's still in my head and I hate it but I don't know how to get rid of him and I can't let him hurt you again… No matter where I go or what I do Jenova is still going to be inside of me, Tifa..."

"That doesn't scare me, Cloud. You're stronger than you think. I know that you still have a lot of soul searching to do but I also know you _will_ find your way out of the darkness. You can do it. You _aren't_ Sephiroth. You have beaten him twice already because you were strong enough to choose your own path. You don't want to be what he was and that is why I know that you won't surrender to his darkness- not completely."

"If you really believe that, then I'm leaving right now…" He said softly, and he turned his back on her, already moving for the door. "You're the only one I can't live with disappointing again, Tifa."

"No. You can't. You can't just walk away- not this time." She whispered a tear rolled down her cheek she was in front of him, blocking the door with her body before she knew what was happening. "I won't let you, because I know until you find the light in your heart that you lost when you gave him the Black materia, you are going to need mine. I'll be your light. You can hold onto me. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes, what mattered then was you were able to move on. I still believe in you that won't ever change so do Barret and the others. I guess I don't understand this, why would you give up now when you didn't give in then?"

He didn't answer and he didn't look at her either. He was silent for so long that Tifa finally sighed. "I'm not made out of glass; I promise. I'm not going to break just when you finally do need some one there beside you. Look at me, Cloud, I swear it."

He looked at her finally; his blue eyes were strikingly luminous. His face was a perfect mask of neutrality, but his eyes were not. He was looking at her with an expression that told her more than anything he _wanted_ to believe what she was saying. His eyes also told her that in spite of what he had just said he didn't want her to give up on him- not really.

Tifa sighed again; she loved it when he looked at her like that… In his eyes she could see without a doubt that he did love her, that he wanted her… "I know that you want me; I can see it in your eyes every time you look at me. Whenever we are alone like this, the way that you look at me is so intense that I can almost feel you touching me- it makes it hard just to breathe sometimes because I want you too."

He looked away from her so quickly that she couldn't stop herself from smiling a little. "I'm not ashamed of how I feel about you, Cloud- I never will be. I love you. I've wanted you for years. I just… always hoped that you would see it on your own that we have something that's worth fighting for."

Again he answered her with silence, but this time she was more angry than hurt, so she tried again to reach him with words, and she followed him back toward the center of the large room. "There is nothing to hold us back this time, we aren't kids anymore. You have been given _the_ second chance that people everywhere have been dreaming of for thousands of years so why are you still determined to waste it by shutting me out? We should be together while we can, for as long as we can. You and I have something rare and precious and even if you can tell yourself that it's not worth taking a chance on, I _can't._ I'm tired of lying to my heart. I haven't ever been able to think of you as anything but my lover, Cloud."

He was looking down and away from her, and quite lost in his thoughts so he didn't see what she was doing until she had already pressed her lips against his. She put her arms around him before he could collect himself and was amazed that he didn't push her away. He didn't kiss her back, but she didn't mind, she hadn't expected him to either- at least not _yet_.

Slowly, softly and very patiently she kept kissing him. Each time, she drew him a tiny bit closer, but only when she could feel her body pressed firmly against his did she try parting his lips with her tongue. Hot sparks of desire flashed through her when he groaned, but she kept her kisses soft and light, inviting him to respond- she knew that demanding he surrender to what they both wanted would be a grave mistake. Even for this he might never forgive her, but she also knew he was smart enough to understand that it had to happen eventually, she just had to have enough faith for both of them that it was finally time to take that chance…

_That I love you_

_I've loved you all along_

_And I miss you,_

_Been far away for far too long_

For a moment he couldn't think about anything anymore. White heat surged through him, but the way that she was kissing him lightly and sweetly stole his will to resist her the way he knew he should.

Tifa pressed her figure against his lightly but suggestively, making it even more impossible to tell his heart that this wasn't what he wanted. He had never been one to let his body control his mind like this, but the intensity of his own emotions refused to let him take back control of the situation. So instead of pushing her away, he found himself drawing her closer, and kissing her back.

They kissed slowly and tenderly at first, because he liked her soft, almost shy kisses and the way that she had given him time to pull away if he'd really wanted to. She knew him well enough to understand instinctively that he would not respond to pure lust- at least never with her. He had too much respect for her and the time they had invested in each other as friends to risk throwing it away on a one night stand. If he was going to take this chance to be with her, he had to be allowed to decide for himself, and as they kept kissing he was still thinking about pulling away, but he could not deny that he _did _want her- more than anything.

Their first kiss was slowly becoming incredibly passionate, but it remained very sweet and his body was telling him it was also long over due. It felt right, there was no denying that…he didn't want to let go of her- ever, the warmth and strength of her sleek body against his, the passion of their kisses, everything about this moment seemed perfectly natural. Every kiss flowed like water into the next one. This was the way it felt in every one of his dreams- except that this was real, and he was behaving recklessly to allow this to go any further.

He felt her melt against him when he thrust his tongue inside her mouth, and pulled her hips against his. He put his knee in between her legs and she shivered, her body temperature was already rising. Just kissing Tifa was almost incinerating him too; Cloud didn't really want to think about touching her… but he didn't really want to push her away either.

_I keep dreaming that you'll be with me_

_And you'll never let me go_

_Stop breathing if_

_I don't see you anymore_

He was still thinking about resisting her. Tifa could feel it, his whole body was drawn incredibly tense and she knew it was because he was still unsure about going any farther than this... She couldn't believe that he was kissing her so passionately and holding her so close if he was still just going to tell himself that he didn't love her… but her heart knew that he wanted to resist _because _he cared about her, it was touching, in a way, but still ridiculous. Pain was a part of life and hiding from it behind a façade of indifference was simply not all together possible even if he only wanted to protect her, she would only miss him more if he left her right now.

She felt like her whole body was going up in flames and all they were doing was kissing- this was totally unlike anyone else she had ever been with, and yet it felt so perfect, so right that for a moment she wasn't sure it was real, surely she must be dreaming again… That was why she was a little surprised when she found herself backed up against something solid and heavy, but she just smirked and wrapped her legs around him, scooting herself up onto the table. She actually moaned out loud when he gripped her hips and pressed her more tightly against him.

She kissed him again; there was no way she was going to let him stop now… she was slick and wet with desire and she could feel his body temperature rising too, through their clothes. She had no idea how long they had already spent kissing, but she didn't think that it would ever be long enough to tame the urge to get closer to him.

Their bodies felt like they fit together perfectly, especially after she unbuckled his custom made, one of a kind sword sheath and let it slide to the floor so that the heavy pieces of leather weren't digging into her calves anymore. She loved the way he looked in his dark clothes, but decided that he was still wearing more layers than she wanted him in so she unzipped his sleeveless sweater and helped him pull it off.

She was amazed that her hands were so steady, because she felt like a shy, awkward virgin all over again; watching her fingertips glide lightly over Cloud's beautifully sculpted chest and shoulders. Her heart felt like it was beating incredibly fast, and she was still afraid that she was going to wake up any second now and find out that this was all a dream. She leaned forward and kissed his collarbone tenderly, she closed her eyes when he shivered, continued to drape light, raindrop kisses over his smooth, tightly drawn skin and then nipped him playfully.

She glanced up at him and found herself smiling shyly as she realized he had been watching her. There was a strange intensity to his sharp blue eyes that she found a little disconcerting at the moment since she had made all of the advances so far. She had told him that she wasn't ashamed of herself for wanting him as much as she did- and she had meant it. No matter what it took, she had to make love to him tonight. She was out to show him that she could be just as stubborn as he was and the bar's curtains were already shut; no one else even had a spare key… Well Barrett did, but he wasn't due back for over a week from his latest scouting mission for the Mako Energy Replacement Development Council and the WRO. That meant they had plenty of privacy as far as she was concerned, after all the kids had been asleep for hours now and were safely in bed upstairs in their room.

Her arms slid around him, her hands slid lightly up the heavy ridges of muscle in his back as she drew him into another deep kiss, inside she was wondering if he was going to try taking off anything of hers, but she sure wasn't about to ask him about it.

_On my knees I'll ask_

_Last chance for one last dance_

_Cause with you I'd withstand_

_All of hell to hold your hand_

_I'd give it all_

_I'd give for us_

_Give anything but I won't give up_

_Cause you know, you know, you know_

He pushed her over, onto her back on the table, as they kissed, her hips bucked instinctively against him, leaving both of them breathless for a moment. Her hands were still exploring his body with a light boldness that took his breath away. Did she know how beautiful she looked sprawled out on the table, like that? Her long silky hair formed a dark halo around her delicate face. He supposed she didn't, but he doubted he'd ever be able to forget seeing her like this… her eyes were closed, and her breathing was ragged and her skin was so hot against him that they were both starting to sweat.

He had always suspected that she would be a bold and sensuous lover, just because she always went after what she wanted and believed in but he still hadn't really figured on her starting things off so suddenly- much less _here_. On the other hand, this was still home after all, and since no one spent more time down in the bar than Tifa did, he supposed it made sense that she felt safe trying to seduce him here.

_Trying huh? She's got your shirt off and you have her pinned to a lousy table like some mindless barbarian- that's not exactly playing the part of a gentleman, now is it? _The annoying little voice in his head was back again with a vengeance this time it seemed… but he was distracted by Tifa kissing him again before he could tell himself to shut up. The passionate kiss and the way that she was touching him reminded him that this had been her idea; he wasn't exactly holding her against her will…

In fact that was all the warning he got before she slipped one hand down his pants, finding his erection in the same quick movement. Everything he'd been thinking about was gone, lost in a blur of mindless pleasure. Her touch was steady, and firm, drawing their bodies more tightly against each other. She moaned, shifting her hips against him without letting go of his member. They kissed again, and he found himself desperately wishing they were already naked…

_That I love you_

_I've loved you all along_

_And I miss you,_

_Been far away for far too long_

_I keep dreaming that you'll be with me_

_And you'll never let me go_

_Stop breathing if_

_I don't see you anymore_

_Men are so easy._ She thought quietly, but she was smiling to herself victoriously.

She knew he had completely given up any thoughts of resisting her when she'd started stroking him off. She had known it would work; it had to, because there weren't many options left to her while she was pinned to the table like this... Right now, she wasn't going anywhere until he chose to let her. Cloud wasn't a particularly broad or tall man; he had the lithe, agile build of a gymnast rather than the huge, heavily muscled frame one usually associated with a legendary warrior... His size was deceptive though, he was extremely powerful; he just kept his weight down to keep his agility on a par with his strength. When one used a sword that was heavier and damn near as long, as wide and even thicker than an airplane wing, that called for even more balance and grace than it did strength or the weapon's weight and reach would become a liability rather than an asset...

She hadn't realized she was so busy thinking until she felt his hands on her bare back. Her leather tank top and her undershirt were both gone and he was holding her tightly against his chest. She let her head tip back when he nipped her throat. She wrapped her arms around him, trying to pull him down on top of her again, but he just smirked, and started kissing one of her breasts instead. She gasped, her hips ground against him as she arched her back, hoping for what had to be the millionth time that she wasn't just dreaming.

Both of her nipples were fully aroused and every time he touched her, her hips bucked, he seemed pretty composed by comparison. That wasn't fair, she decided. She grasped for him again, wanting to play with him too, but he seemed so focused on her that she couldn't help smiling a little. Ever the alpha male she mused, she didn't really mind, she liked his kisses and the way that he touched her.

The rest of her outfit was tight, and squirming out of it while her skin was sweaty took some doing- even with his help. She was hoping she'd get to help undress him, but no sooner was she mostly naked than he pushed two fingers into her. He nipped one of her breasts too and she collapsed back onto the table, like a rag doll panting hard, opening her legs wider, and arching her back. Tifa gasped sharply, her hips thrust against his hand instinctively until her inner muscles shivered with ecstasy.

She had already known that she'd never been as hot and ready to make love as she was tonight, but it was still incredible that he could have made her come so easily. She didn't have a chance to think about it though or even calm down, because his body was back against hers, and this time there were no more clothes to get in the way.

He entered her slowly, which made her moan with pleasure, he fit her perfectly, just like all of her daydreams (and night dreams) had always foretold. Her eyes closed as he kissed her lips and she returned it passionately, but she bucked her hips against him impatiently. She had waited too long to have him already, this was no time for him to decide to be careful with her! His strength and his weight excited her and every time he thrust she gasped as she met him, arching her back, while her arms held him tightly.

Tifa was ready when her body finally started to shudder with another climax. She focused on slowing her breathing and concentrated on relaxing her inner muscles as she and Cloud moved together. Eventually though it became apparent that she was either going to have to let him do the work or stop delaying the inevitable…

He seemed to understand what she was thinking. Without a word, he pulled her closer to the edge of the table, he held onto her hips, and doubled the pace of his thrusts. It took her a few shuddering breaths before she was sure that she was still going to be able to hold back, she loved the way he was taking her, but she knew she was very lucky that she was stronger than most women or he'd likely be hurting her with his enhanced strength, because she didn't want him to have to hold anything back, not when they were finally together.

Her inner muscles shifted suddenly of their own accord trying to pull him farther inside of her and she heard him growl as he spread her thighs wider, and start taking her harder. She loved what they were doing but she wasn't sure how much more she could take…

She hadn't had sex since she'd been reunited with Cloud, no one other man could tempt her anymore which had been nearly three full years earlier! Cloud had always been the only man she'd ever really wanted, and he'd kept her waiting for this for a long, _long _time, it looked like it was going to take her body a while to get used to having a sex life again... hopefully he didn't intend for this to be just a one time thing, but she decided not to worry about it just yet…

_So far away_

_Been far away for far too long_

_So far away_

_Been far away for far too long_

_But you know, you know, you know_

He stroked her breasts, and watched her arch her back again. He kissed her neck passionately and closed his eyes, letting desire take over again. She arched against him, kissing him back then he began to take her harder and faster.

"Yes…" She gasped sharply, her nails started to bite into his back, she was drawing blood but he didn't mind, he found her instinctive reactions and her strength arousing. He knew she was so turned on that she didn't realize what she was doing, so it was he focused instead on watching her. Her body was slick and shining with sweat, and she looked like some mythical goddess of desire. Her head was thrown back, her eyes were closed and he could feel her body tightening, gathering toward another orgasm.

It still surprised him that in the middle of the bar they were making love on a table top with all of the lights on, but every time he buried himself in her he was forced to admit that he had forgotten where they were at least a half dozen times already. Being with her was really the only thing that mattered, and he knew that was how she felt too...

She bit her lip again, either to keep herself quiet or just to focus he wasn't sure but he wasn't going to let her hold back this time either. Her inner muscles were keeping amazingly tight, and wet around him, making it harder and harder to focus on waiting for her. Besides, he wondered if lying on the table might be getting hard on her back. He knew he'd been a little rougher with her than he had meant to.

She moaned, shuddering when he leaned back and used his thumb to find her clitoris, stroking it in a circular motion while he continued to take her. Her body's rhythmic pulses drew him along with her but he kept touching her even after he had to stop taking her; she looked so sexy that he didn't want to rush her this time. Tifa's body finally went limp, and he held her tightly as her gasping breaths began to slow down. He found her incredibly beautiful, as she lay there blissfully spent, but he doubted she was very comfortable having been up there for so long.

He decided they could come back for their stuff later; their clothes were pretty scattered but she was already in a position that made her easy to lift, so he turned and carried her up the stairs. One of their beds had to be more comfortable than their current surroundings…

She kept herself wrapped tightly around him and started kissing his neck and got them into his room in one piece, in spite of her giggling attempts at distracting him. He shut the door behind him and he put her down, and then he plopped down beside her resting on his back for a moment as he looked up at the ceiling wondering absently if he should say anything or if this was going to turn out to be a bad enough mistake already and he should just go…

_I wanted,_

_I wanted you to stay_

_Cause I needed_

_I need to hear you say_

_That I love you_

She knew it wasn't fair play to pounce on him already, but he looked like he was thinking something bad all of a sudden, and she sensed that he might not stay where he was very long because of it… She found it sweet and romantic that he had carried her to _his_ bed without hesitating, but she wasn't going to let him regret what they had just done- not yet, not while she was so happy that she finally felt so close to him. It was best if they just fell asleep together for a while but he didn't look tired- not physically at least, so she was hoping she could distract him until he was…

Hesitantly, she reached out her hand, and touched his shoulder, moving lightly down his chest. She had already been able to tell that he was in amazing physical condition as always, even when he was fully dressed but she was still surprised that his heart rate had already returned to normal, and so had his breathing. She found herself distracted though, looking at where her hand was resting.

She had asked him once, when they were alone, exactly what had happened that day in the aftermath of his fight with Kadaj. She had asked him about the explosion at the top of the building while she and the others had been distracted and he had only shrugged, saying just that he'd been shot in the back by a coward but that he hadn't let them get away with it… Her fingertips had actually felt it before she had seen it. There was a faintly visible, though unmistakable scar over his heart; it was almost perfectly round and she knew it instantly as the shot that had killed him so the bullet had gone clear through... She looked away; suddenly uncomfortable with having seen the undeniable proof that the man she loved actually was mortal.

There were others too, though, and all of them were equally faint and well healed. They didn't overlap very often and most of the worst ones were obviously older, though they were all fading slowly with time. She touched them all lightly, studying the old scars that she found on his smooth, taut skin surprised that even though she hadn't been the one to tend to all of them, she recognized most, and she decided she didn't like the feeling that their whole journey had been recorded in his blood…

He was watching her again, she noted. There was some nameless intensity in his jewel blue gaze that was almost tangible, but still his face was an unreadable mask and his eyes revealed nothing of what he was thinking at this moment… What could he be thinking when he looked at her like that? She had no idea. Before she lost her nerve _or said something stupid,_ she sat up slowly and kissed him, softly but warmly, silently hoping that it would be enough to make him forget what he was thinking and want to stay- forever.

She was surprised when he pulled her to him, scooting them both fully onto the bed while easily arranging her so that she was straddling his hips and groaned when he kissed her back. His arms held her tightly and their kisses were still long and deep, but slower and softer now than they had been downstairs. He was hardening again, and she ground her body against his length, enjoying the chance to tease him.

Still, she felt shy and innocent all over again, half afraid to break their kiss for fear of waking up from this heavenly dream and finding herself alone again. She continued to move against him slowly, enjoying their kisses and the fact that they didn't have to say a word for her to know that she had been right all along; he was her destiny, and her one true love. Tonight had already proven to be worth waiting for, but if she could help it, it wasn't going to be over just yet...

In a fight, Cloud was a perfectionist; focused, determined and capable of channeling tremendous energy and emotion into his fighting style all without ever giving into blind rage, so it shouldn't have surprised her that he was so intensely passionate in his lovemaking too. She felt like she was going up in flames all over again and yet at the same time she felt totally content- as if just having his hands on her body was enough to remind her that right now she had everything she had ever wanted…

Her body was pressed tightly to his in all the right places and she loved the taste of him, but she tipped her head back, sighing softly as he broke their kiss long enough to nip her throat. She arched her back, she felt safe with him; willing him to do whatever he wanted with her. His hands were steady and strong as he carefully explored her body, slowly stirring back to life the heat that had consumed them so completely downstairs... All the while she continued to rock her hips against him.

"I need you... don't stop." She wasn't sure if she had spoken or not, but she had wanted to.

He growled and pulled her tightly against him, and kissed her lips. Tifa kissed him back, and shivered helplessly with pleasure when he entered her while he was touching her breasts.

"Yes…" She whispered and sat up on top of him. She found her rhythm easily, slowly moving her body with catlike sensuality, letting her head fall back. He captured one of her breasts and kissed it tenderly while still playing with the other one. It took all of the concentration she had to stay with the slow pace she had set, but she thought she managed it pretty well until he switched to play with her other breast, and nipped it- hard.

She jumped, scarcely able to stop herself from crying out. But still she found herself smiling at his wicked smirk.

He put his hands on her hips and thrust hard into her, she moaned each time. She kissed him, with all the passion and desire she felt for him and kept it up long after he was taking her hard and fast.

He put his hands on her hips, using his strength to keep their bodies tightly together. He kissed her neck again, but he kept his eyes open. He seemed to be enjoying her reactions to the sensations that their love making was causing all over her body. He reached up and began to stroke her breasts, she shivered and he sat up enough to treat each of them to a long sensuous kiss. He could feel her inner muscles tightening again and he smirked when she whimpered a little. He slipped one hand between her legs and started stroking the delicate bead of her sex in time with the erotic dance her hips were doing...

Tifa sat up and closed her eyes again. She arched her back and let some of her weight rest on her hands that she put on his abs. Her new position allowed her to use her inner muscles to draw him deeper inside without altering the way she was grinding her hips against him. He groaned, still using his fingers to stimulate her further, he apparently felt her body start to tremble, because he took over for her, thrusting into her hard until her gasps for breath began to slow down and the tension in her body melted away, leaving her spent on top of him.

She tried weakly to crawl off of him, but he wrapped her tightly in his arms and kissed her forehead. "I- I've always loved you, Tifa..."

"I know that, you didn't have to say it." She whispered, smiling as she snuggled down on top of him, her heart beats were starting to slow and so was her breathing.

"Yes, I did." He insisted. "Because- I meant it…"

"I know." She said again and kissed him softly. Then she yawned and rubbed her eyelids they felt scratchy and impossibly heavy, all her body wanted to do was sleep but the rest of her was wide awake and still wanted him. "I also knew being with you would be worth waiting for, and I was right. Just don't keep me waiting another three years before we do this again, ok?"

"I'm not the one that's falling asleep, horny brat." He snorted and she giggled.

"I see that- err I mean I can feel it... But if you're still here in the morning, I'll make it up to you." She purred snuggling against him, but suddenly she sat up again. "Welcome home, Cloud- sorry! I'm afraid I didn't say it earlier, did I?"

"You've said plenty tonight." He pulled her back down on top of him and rolled his eyes. "You used more than words… I guess maybe that's why it worked."

"I had to do something. We belong together; I've always believed that…"

"Me too- I just didn't know how to tell you… I'm sorry I couldn't say it sooner."

"Its ok- you're here now. That's all that matters to me." She giggled and laid her head back on his shoulder. "I do love you though, more than anything."

"Tifa- I need you and your light…"

"I know that." She nodded; she knew that saying that was hard for him, so she didn't look up even though she wanted to. "I made you a promise tonight and I intend to keep it, always, Cloud. I've felt that way for a long time ago actually- I just never told you."

"There have been a lot of things we haven't said… but I'm sorry shouldn't have been one of them. You never gave up on me and…"

"_And_ I never will. I love you." She interrupted, her head felt too heavy to pick up, but she managed to smile a little. "You have already told me everything I've really needed to hear you say…" She was trying desperately to stay awake, so that he couldn't try to leave while she was asleep, but the invisible patterns he was slowly tracing along her back with his fingers were making her relax and the steady, even sound of his heartbeat was gently lulling her into exhaustion… So finally, she just said a prayer that he would still be there when she awoke in the morning… "Goodnight." She murmured softly, and giggled when he grunted and gave her another light squeeze.

_I have loved you all along_

_And I forgive you_

_For being away for far too long_

_So keep breathing_

_Cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

_Hold onto me and never let me go…_

**Author's note:**_ And_ coming soon- what is it again?? Oh yes… the morning after… So don't forget to **_REVIEW_**!!!!!!!!!


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